Lesson 1: Basic skills
Why are we doing this?
Why are you sitting here? Ask yourself this question. Why people look to meditation varies significantly between individuals. I have heard several reasons:
Better concentration
Becoming happier
Getting more self-discipline
Often motivation is not set or fixed at one goal. Your motivation can be fulfilled over time but it usually changes as well. It is interesting to explore this question for yourself.
My motivation: Exploring the mind to decrease suffering and increase joy. It is a bit more complex than that, but this is the core.
What are we doing?
Depends on the technique! Meditation is actually very hard to define on its own. I will teach you different techniques. For you, it will be a journey to find out which ones resonate with you and lies close to your motivation.
All techniques have some similarities:
Pausing from 'normal' life
Becoming more aware of consciousness
Exploring the inner world of the mind
One important point that I want to share about meditation: Don't take anything at face value, but explore for yourself!
Misconceptions
There are a lot of misconceptions about meditation, such as:
It is not for me
I have too many thoughts to meditate
I do not get calm
Drop all your expectations of meditation and what it should do. Everything you experience is very normal for everybody (most of the time). Just see what it does. In the end it might make you calm, but it can also make you angry. It is about awareness of what is going on in your mind.
Posture
Straighten your back.
Take some time to relax the rest of your body around the spine.
If you are sitting on the ground, make sure that your knees are equal to or lower than your hips
A sitting posture with a straight back and the rest of the body relaxed around the spine, is an alert yet calm state. This is what we are going for. We do not want to fall asleep and we do not want to be tense.
Seven-point relaxation
This can be a nice and short relaxing exercise to start your meditation session with. You go through the body part by part in the following order:
Top of the head
Face
Shoulders
Arms and hands
Chest and upper back
Stomach and lower back
Legs and feet
And for every part you do two things:
Feel the part without trying to change anything. If you have trouble feeling it, try to tense the part. (10s)
Actively relax that part (10s)
Practice: seven-point relaxation (3 min)
Intermezzo: habit formation
Tip 1: Start with a very low bar
Do not start meditating an hour a day right away. You want to build a habit that is sustainable over the long run. Therefore, it is best to set the bar super low and not delve in right away. Setting up the habit is the most important thing at the start. The homework for this week will be doing only the seven-point relaxation and that takes around 2- 3 minutes.
Tip 2: Connect a new habit with an old one
What happens a lot in the beginning is that you just forget to do the new habit. You are not used to doing it, so it is not in your automated system of habits. One way to help with this is to connect it to an old habit. Here are some examples:
Meditate after your first cup of tea/coffee in the morning.
Meditate before you brush your teeth.
Meditate when you come back from work
Meditate before going to sleep
Tip 3: Use accountability
Humans are social animals. We hate public failure and we crave recognition. Use this! Find a meditation partner or meditation group and make sure they can see if you meditate.
Insight Timer is great for this. It allows you to connect with your friends and then they can see if you're sticking to the plan! And when you go to your weekly meditation group, they will know if you practiced or not.
If you're joining the Beginners Course, then I can hold you accountable
Experiencing the meditation object
Pick a meditation object: Pick one point where you can feel the breath most clearly—this will be your meditation object during the session. Don't worry about it being perfect, just pick one. During the meditation, it will be very tempting to change your meditation object, don't do this, stick with your initial choice.
Experience: Try to experience the physical sensations that come with the meditation object. This won't result in some magical experience, you are just feeling the breath.
Stabilize: When you arrive at a single point of the breath, you can use labeling to stabilize your attention. Think “in” with the in-breath and “out” with the out-breath for a couple of breaths. See if you can cover the whole in-breath with the word "in" and the whole out-breath with the word "out", very quietly in your mind. You can come back to this technique whenever you’re having difficulty staying with the breath.
Returning with kindness
At some point, you will start mind-wandering. This is a habit that we want to change with meditation, so there is this temptation to get frustrated when it happens. If you didn't mind-wander, then you didn't have to meditate. Getting frustrated about mind-wandering during meditation is like getting frustrated about having to lift weights when going to the gym—this is the exercise :)
Don't analyze: There might be this tendency to analyze the distraction. Don't do this, thoughts can be really sticky, before you know it you're mind-wandering again.
Relax: Take a moment to do nothing and just relax
Be kind: When you notice mind-wandering, there is this "aha" moment where you wake up and remember you were meditating. You have become aware, and this is great, we want this awareness—reward it accordingly.
If you can, try to really appreciate this moment of awareness. Don't rush back to the breath, but see if you can enjoy this moment of noticing, try to relax a little.
Give it a small smile. This might make it easier to appreciate your awareness.
Give yourself a short compliment like: "Well done."
Return to the meditation object: After you have been kind to yourself, return your attention back to the meditation object. Repeat this until you hear the bell.
Intention—during the meditation
We want to use intention to stay on the breath. However, intention is a tricky thing. We can intend to drink a glass of water or to move one's arm. This is not a forceful will but a small nudge. We want to do this in meditation as well. Forcing ourselves on the breath will not train anything and makes us tired. It is a skillful act. Do not worry if you don't get it right away. Try to nudge yourself on the breath and let go. A lot of the practice is also just letting the practice happen.
Ending with gratitude
We always end a meditation session with a moment of gratitude, because we have taken care of ourselves in a way that isn't always easy. This moment will make it easier to start next time and can be especially important after a difficult meditation session. Practice: Meditation (5-10 min)
Insight timer
Insight timer is a great app as a meditation timer for several reasons:
The timer is a bell or gong. This will go off once. Therefore, you do not have to stop your meditation and stop your alarm if you would like to continue.
You can set a beginning bell and intermediate bells.
A gong makes it sound very professional
Summary of the practice
Do the seven point relaxation (2 min)
Focus on the breath sensation in the body (belly or nose recommended)
Stabilize by thinking 'in' with in-breath and 'out' with out-breath
Return with kindness when distracted
Use intention to stay on the breath
Homework: Habit formation
Set a timer for 10 min
Do the seven-point relaxation
Meditate for 0 seconds
Total of 2-3 min. Intend to do only this! You can meditate if you want after the relaxation but it is not necessary.
Guided meditation
Without background music
With background music
Link to SoundCloud
Insight timer
Last updated